I Wonder ...
12 Jan 2019
Sometimes, I really feel overwhelmed with too many things to enjoy, to despair at not knowing some of them and to crave for learning some others. Mind goes uncontrollable, there’s some joy and agony together, vibrating my energies both vibrantly and violently. I kind of like it. But I fail utterly to organize those energies.
Some attribute these qualities to my zodiac sign — Gemini. Some call it my inferiority complex. Friends wonder seeing me in these moments and then conclude this is of no use anyway. Family just got used to it. Finally, me? I pass the day and the next day is not the same again.
Should I have done something about those overpouring energies, I would have become something. I never knew that art. Listening to people like Sadhguru is no help until I could actually follow them. To create something out of such energies is really something.
Suddenly every now and then, almost everything around me excites me too much. I start the day by wondering almost everything around me.
The sunlight, the shadows made by it in my room.
Birds chirping, and me waking up to those sounds.
Somebody talking about the irony of how stock market becomes smooth by investors who believe in speculation rather than analysis, and thereby take larger risks.
A. R. Rahman’s school of music, which is also called as “Music Conservatory”.
Popping up physics news with wonderful statements, such as,
“But for much of its existence, the planet was as naked as Earth. While Saturn first formed around 4.5 BILLION years ago, studies suggest the rings are only 100- 200 million years old, tops. That’s younger than some dinosaurs.
So when you think about it, we’re pretty lucky we happened to be around to see those magnificent rings. Really lucky, in fact. Because efforts to study those rings have led us to other discoveries.”
One of my colleagues made a salad look so beautiful yesterday, with coriander leaves as topping. Just the visual captured my brain for a couple of seconds.
My daughter dancing to Rajanikanth song. And my wife’s satire and love being displayed together.
The sprouting blades of grass in a never maintained wetland. And their green shiny edges in reaction to morning sunlight. I see them almost everyday when I walk to my car.
Kids shouting in the neighborhood. And their energy compel me to stare at them. Especially those very small kids who don’t need anything amazing and they manage to keep themselves amazed by everything they physically hold.
The knowledge and intellect of some of the people I meet at work. They fear me, threaten me. But by the end of the day, my philosophy makes them too light to handle. Paradox at every step. Irony in every move.
Numbers grab my attention. Not because I know how to play with them. Quite on the contrary, I look at them like I looked at my teachers when in school. I listen to them as if Nietzsche is talking to me and I can’t make head or tail of what he intends to say. With this fear, my attention for them is too much for me to learn to deal with them. I still like to have that fear and respect. I have some intimate friends who I find extremely good with numbers. Those with grip on this subject always throws a different perspective at me. Not that I didn’t have that perspective at all, but they make it concrete by using the language of numbers. Qualitative thoughts turning into quantitative ideas.
There’s no one thing. No one subject. No one part of my world that I don’t wonder at. From a baby to Benjamin Franklin. From a grass blade to how an airplanes work. From a tiny me to the vast cosmos.
I Wonder.
I wonder at almost everything and everyone.
I don’t want to ask the question if everyone is like this. I want to cherish the fact that I can do this.
Life is beautiful….
And it’s all in the mind!! :-)